500 Days Without You
by Hikari-chan
Summary: Apparently, he reminded her of platypuses and a Rubik's cube. She was halfway around the world and he never thought he'd look back on the days when they argued until the cows came home with this kind of longing.


**500 Days Without You**

By: Hikari-chan (Chitsuki)

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I make no profit from this.

**Foreword:** This started off with a fairly common and simple theme - "not appreciating what you have until you no longer have it". I mapped out about 3 lines of ideas and estimated a 5K words one-shot. The final word count is over 16K words... So, I would suggest grabbing that glass of water before you start reading; it's kind of a long read. Since I don't want to ruin the fic, I'll leave other thoughts until the end. :)

**Major Characters:** Shinichi (Conan), Ai, Agasa  
**Minor Characters:** Ran, Hattori, Ayumi, Genta, Mitsuhiko, Takagi, Sonoko

**Pairings:** Shinichi/Ai, (minor) Shinichi/Ran

**Inspirations:** Sky Samuelle's "Lovers' Path", hardly loquacious's "Long Lost Long Last", the world map on my living room wall.

**Warnings:** Whimsically romantic, likely typos, philosophical undertones

-o-o-o-o-o-

There were many ways that Edogawa Conan, Grade School Student, had envisioned returning to his former glory as Kudo Shinichi, Great Detective of the East. The truth, however, was much more anticlimactic than any dream he had entertained.

The Boss had been caught after a year of intense investigations, the Organization uprooted. Following the FBI's suggestion though, Conan had remained quiet about his true identity.

"We're still finding the moles, some of the hidden members," Shuichi Akai had advised him. "Until you can actually return to your adult body, it would be safer if you kept the secret of that drug. Besides, if the truth about you got out, how do you think people would react to a drug that could make you ten years younger?"

Conan never told Haibara about the conversation with Akai. He had merely brought all the information they had salvaged about the APTX-4869 to her. Then, he had resumed his life as Conan. After all, he had learned during the takedown of the Black Organization that in order to fool your enemies, you must first fool your allies. If the people close to him – Ran, Kogoro, Takagi, Megure – didn't change their behaviours towards him, no one else would look twice.

One day at the beginning of summer, Ran walked into the living room of the Mouri Detective Agency with the mail and handed him a small package. It was thin and flat, about the size of a novel.

"This came for you, Conan-kun," she said. "Did you order something?"

"No, Ran-nee-chan," Conan replied slowly. He looked at the package with a small frown. There were some funny looking scribbles at the bottom of the address label. It didn't take him long to realize it was a coded message. "Ah, I'm going to use the washroom!"

He jumped up from his seat and headed down the stairs towards Kogoro's office. Ran gave his retreating figure a confused look and pointed to her right, "But there's a washroom right here..." She shrugged and went back to the mail.

Conan opened the door to the office and made sure no one was around before he locked the door and ripped open the package. _"Open when you're alone,"_ the coded message had said.

He held his breath, anticipating some kind of bomb, or trap, or puzzle, or clue from the FBI, but instead, the package only contained a small, tin box, something that looked like a case for breath mints. He opened it slowly and found inside, sitting amongst the tissues, a red and white pill.

The package had no note, but Conan knew exactly what he held in his hands. The grin on his face couldn't have been wider. This was the key to returning to everything he had lost that day at Tropical Island.

Snapping the case shut, he left the office, yelling up the stairs, "Ran-nee-chan, I'm going to the Professor's!" before he raced down the stairs, out the door, and towards his own house in Beika 2nd District, Block 21.

The Kudo mansion was exactly as he remembered it, albeit a tad dusty. Conan ran up the stairs to his room and swallowed the pill dry, feeling the familiar pain of his body growing back to its original size. Minutes later, he was clutching his chest, trying to ride out the last waves of the white hot sensation and not fainting from the intensity.

He smiled when he looked down at himself. He was back in the body of an eighteen year old, and hopefully, this time, it would be permanent.

The first thing he did was put on some clothes.

The second thing he did was race back out his front door towards the Mouri Detective Agency. He had a childhood friend to surprise.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The reunion with Ran involved a hug, a lot of tears, and several threats to karate chop him to the moon, resulting in Shinichi owing Kogoro a new coffee table for the agency's office. He also owed Kogoro a new desk after Ran heard his explanation about being Conan and realized she had shared rather intimate details of herself with him.

Still, not much could ruin the honeymoon phase of their new relationship. Despite it only having been a year, so much had happened that Shinichi felt like it had been much, much longer. During those first two weeks, he spent as much time as possible with Ran. He admitted quietly to himself that things were a bit weird though, because he would accidentally refer to her as "Ran-nee-chan" and she was intently aware of the fact that he hadn't trusted her enough to confide in her, despite his justification that it had been for her safety.

In the third week after his return, Sonoko asked if they would like to come to a company party with her family. Ran agreed, so Shinichi accompanied her.

Shinichi hadn't realized until they were in the hotel ballroom that Ran had taken the liberty of asking Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko to come along.

It was weird being (re)introduced to them. He knew them so, so well – he knew Ayumi's favourite colour and all her fears, knew all about Genta's eating habits and Mitsuhiko's insecurities, but they knew nothing about Kudo Shinichi, even though really, he had been with them all along. It was the same feeling as when Ran complained to Conan that Shinichi was never around. They were even a bit shy about talking to him, even though Ran assured them that Shinichi-nii-chan was a very, very nice person.

That, however, changed when a woman came screaming into the ballroom. Someone in the hotel had been killed. Shinichi ran off to the crime scene without a backward glance.

An hour later, Megure's team was cuffing the culprit and wrapping up the scene.

"Thanks for a job well done, Kudo-kun," Takagi addressed him as the officers around them packed up.

"Glad to be of help, Takagi-keiji," Shinichi replied. He was still a little awkward solving cases as Shinichi again. Without Conan's childlike appearance, suspects didn't give up their secrets so easily. "How are you and Satou-keiji?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you know," Shinichi prompted. "Weren't you going to propose to her?"

Takagi gawked at him for a second before waving his hands about and shushing him. "How did you know about that?" the police detective hissed. "I only told like...two people."

Oh crap.

"Oh, uh, Conan-kun told me," Shinichi amended. This was ridiculous. When he had been Conan, he was making things up about what Shinichi told him, and now that he had his real body back, he was making things up about what Conan told him.

"Oh. Oh, hey, where _is_ Conan-kun?" Takagi asked, looking around for a shorter detective. "Usually, he's right in the middle of these investigations."

It was all Shinichi could do not to wave and say "Right here!" Instead, he coughed and lied. "Um, his parents swung by a few weeks ago and took him home. They thought he had been apart from them for too long."

Takagi nodded. "Well, that makes sense, although it's too bad he hadn't said anything. He's quite infamous around headquarters. Anyways, I have to go back to the office with everyone else. Glad to see you back, Kudo-kun."

Shinichi watched the police leave, thinking how uncomfortable he suddenly felt amongst the group of policemen. When he turned around to head back inside, he came face to face with Ran and the trio of kids.

"Shinichi," Ran frowned, "the least you can do is tell me where you're going before you run off. I thought..."

Oh right. Ran was used to Conan disappearing on her, but not Shinichi. Conan couldn't honestly tell her where he was going half the time, so he had just omitted it and run off. Shinichi used to actually tell Ran, at the very least that he was leaving, before actually running off. It was going to take him a little while to change that habit.

"Sorry," Shinichi answered sheepishly. "But it's not like you didn't know I'd be at the crime scene."

Ran looked uncertain, and this time it was Shinichi's turn to frown. Certainly, the crime scene would be the first place to look. Haibara, the other girl who was always with him when he was Conan, wouldn't even have considered a second option.

"That's just like Conan-kun!" Ayumi exclaimed then.

Shinichi kneeled down in front of her. "Yea, I guess so," he said with a smile, glad she was talking to him.

"He's as good as Conan at mysteries too," Genta added. "We should ask him for help."

Both Ayumi and Mitsuhiko nodded in agreement, and Shinichi looked on curiously. "What do you need help with?"

"The truth is, Shinichi-nii-san," Mitsuhiko began formally, "two of our best friends are missing."

"We've looked very hard on our own," Ayumi added sadly, "but we haven't had any luck."

"Their names are Edogawa Conan and Haibara Ai," Genta finished.

Shinichi blinked, taken aback. Well, he knew where Conan was. But how could Haibara be missing? He had just seen her...wait. He quickly tried to remember when the last time he had seen Haibara in person was. It didn't take long to realize it was before he had received that pill in the mail. In fact, he hadn't been by the Agasa house since then either. All his free time had been spent with Ran.

"Doesn't Haibara live with Agasa-hakase?" he asked the trio carefully.

"Yes," Ayumi answered, "but she hasn't come to school in more than two weeks now, and when we went to Hakase's house, he said she was sick."

"But we noticed that her shoes weren't in the foyer and the magazines she usually reads weren't on Hakase's coffee table," Mitsuhiko told him.

"So something is going on," Genta concluded.

Shinichi hid a smile. He almost felt like a proud parent. Those kids were getting sharper. "Let me look into it," he promised. "But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

He wasn't sure if he was convincing himself or those kids. Haibara had to still be around. She wouldn't leave without telling him. She couldn't. She was his...Shinichi frowned. Partner, he supposed was the right word. And partners didn't just leave each other without a word.

-o-o-o-o-o-

His visit to Agasa-hakase's house proved one thing about those kids' allegations. Haibara, more likely than not, wasn't living there anymore. As Mitsuhiko had said, her shoes were missing from the foyer and her magazines from the living room. In addition, there was more clutter in the Agasa home, take-out boxes in the kitchen trash, and chocolates left strewn on the coffee table. None of those things would have gotten past Haibara.

"Hakase," he addressed Agasa, who was tinkering with something on the kitchen counter.

Agasa looked up. "Shinichi," he smiled. "You haven't been by in awhile."

"Yea, I've been a little busy," Shinichi responded. "Hey, I was wondering – where's Haibara?"

There was a long pause as Agasa stared at him. "Did you...need something from Ai-kun?"

Why did it seem awkward all of a sudden?

"Um...well, Ayumi-chan, Genta, and Mitsuhiko asked me to find her," Shinichi explained.

"...I'm sorry, Shinichi, but I don't know where she is," Agasa answered solemnly.

Shinichi frowned. "Did she move out? Do you know when she'll be back for a visit?"

Agasa put down the tool he was using and turned to face him. "Shinichi, she didn't move out. She left. And no, I don't know if or when she's coming back."

It took a moment for Shinichi to process exactly what the professor had said. And when he did, it was like having the wind knocked out of him.

"Left?! Left where?"

"I don't know. She never said."

"But..."

Agasa gave him a questioning look. "Shinichi, it's been almost three weeks since she left. If you haven't noticed before, well..." the professor couldn't help pointing out.

Shinichi was silent because he was still in shock. It was like waking up one day and finding out that you were missing your left arm. He didn't know why, but he had never entertained the idea that Haibara could leave. Maybe it was because he didn't think she had anywhere to go with the professor being almost like a father to her. Or maybe, it was because he was so used to having her right beside him that he hadn't thought to look to make sure she was still there.

After everything they had been through together, he didn't think she could and would just leave him.

He should have known better.

-o-o-o-o-o-

In the following weeks, Shinichi launched an unofficial investigation into finding Haibara. He started with the Beika District and expanded into the whole Tokyo area. He didn't think she could have gone that far. After all, where could an eight year old girl go?

He continued to get regular calls to aid in police investigations from Megure, Satou, and Takagi, which he fulfilled with his usual efficiency. What was uncomfortable though, was that the more time he spent with the officers and at the police station, the more he felt like he was living in a paradox.

Conan knew things about them that Shinichi shouldn't know.

And it was starting to be difficult to keep track of what information he should and shouldn't know.

He felt like his life had been put on pause while everyone around him continued to move. Now that someone had pushed "play" on his life again, he was out of sync with everyone else. To make it worse, the police detectives talk about Conan fondly, regaling Shinichi with the antics of the grade school detective. Listening to them talk about him like he hadn't been there was an odd experience, especially since he knew the stories better than they did.

Even with Ran, that dissonance was making itself known. It was slightly better because Ran did know he was Conan, but it was the fact that he knew things Ran felt he _shouldn't_ know, such as when her monthly period was. Before the Conan debacle, Shinichi had never paid that much attention. Ran was an easily angered karate champion. If she was having a bad day, he stood a foot further away, but had never given it much thought. Conan though, had lived with her, and so had easily realized the cycle once he had been there long enough. Now, Shinichi knew when it was, and for Ran, that was extremely uncomfortable.

The whole experience was completed by the fact that he had a phantom limb problem. No one accompanied him to crime scenes anymore, whereas before, he could always be sure that at least Haibara (if not the whole gang) would be there to help him out with anything he needed. He would also look to the empty space next to him whenever someone said something particularly exasperating, expecting to share a smirk and a sarcastic remark with a certain girl scientist, only to find her absent.

He didn't get dragged around to help small, abandoned animals anymore, and his sharper remarks these days were met with looks of surprise (followed by disapproval) from Ran rather than the equally cynical retorts from a different girl on his mind. No one finished his sentences or trains of thought or debated about abstract absurd topics with him because they were both itching for a verbal fight. All that pent-up energy went to solving cases, and soon, he was running off to cases without telling Ran again and devoting more time to trying to find Haibara. The lack of results from the search made him brood more often, causing Ran to be more wary of him.

"Shinichi," Ran said one day to him as they were leaving Teitan High School.

It took her grabbing his arm to shake him out of his grumpy stupor. "What?" he sighed.

She bit her lip but ploughed on. "I was wondering what um... what you thought about this...relationship...thing," she stammered.

Shinichi stopped walking and looked at her questioningly. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

This time, it was Ran who sighed. "I've known you all my life, Shinichi, but when I thought about us...dating, I didn't think it would be like this."

"What did you think it would be then?" Shinichi wondered. "Like we would spend more time together?" Although truth be told, short of living together, he didn't think he could find any more time to spend with Ran these days.

"No!" Ran protested. "I meant that...well, since you turned back to Shinichi, things have been kind of...awkward, really. I feel like I don't know you as well as I thought I did, and I don't know if I'm expecting something different because we're not just friends anymore, or if it's the stress of being in our last year of high school, with entrance exams and everything."

There was a long silence as Shinichi tried to process what Ran was saying. It was true that things have been weird, but for him, it wasn't just his relationship with Ran. He had dreamt of getting his old life back for so long, and now that he got it, he was having trouble trying to fit back into it.

"So, what do you want to do?" he finally asked Ran.

Ran looked nervous. "I think, maybe, we should just go back to being friends?" she suggested. "I preferred our relationship before to...this."

Some part of Shinichi wanted to protest, because he felt like he had waited so long to have _this_ with Ran that he wasn't willing to let go so easily. The rest of him, however, was intensely relieved to have _something_ familiar.

"Okay," he agreed easily.

"Really?" Ran looked extremely surprised at his lack of protest.

"Yes, really," Shinichi smiled, feeling the air around them becoming more comfortable even as he spoke.

Ran breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's good! I have to call Sonoko. She'll want to know how this conversation went."

"Seriously?" Shinichi rolled his eyes. He didn't get why women felt the need to share so extensively. Well, most women. Haibara never turned around and relayed their conversations to someone else. However, considering the obscure topics and long conversations they had, Haibara would have had better luck sharing with a diary than another person.

Shinichi waved goodbye to Ran and headed for his own house. He turned the corner onto his street and saw Agasa-hakase carefully peering into his mailbox.

Instinctively, Shinichi crouched down and scooted out of the professor's line of sight.

Agasa looked left and right on the street before reaching into the mailbox and pulling out a bundle. Then he opened the gate and hurried inside.

Shinichi stood up and frowned. That was odd. Was there something in the professor's mail that he didn't want anyone to see? And now that he was on that subject, there was something else that had been bothering him since he had asked Agasa about Haibara's whereabouts. Agasa had claimed that he didn't know anything except that Haibara had "left". If Agasa knew she had left, that meant she had said goodbye in some way, so how could the professor not know anything? Plus, Agasa and Haibara had always been close, but the professor showed no signs of worry about her disappearance, which Shinichi wouldn't consider normal behaviour.

The teenage detective stopped in front of the gate to the Agasa house and peered into the mailbox. There wasn't anything unusual in there now.

"Hakase," Shinichi muttered as he stood in front of the gate. "What are you hiding from me?"

-o-o-o-o-o-

In the weeks that followed, Shinichi started to discreetly watch his long-time neighbour. He quickly noticed a few things. Agasa-hakase acted exactly like his normal self...except when he went to get the mail.

Sure, the professor had moments where he looked like he was expecting someone to protest his food choices and he had the same phantom limb problem as Shinichi – turning to talk to someone who wasn't there – but overall, Agasa's behaviour was fairly normal.

However, whenever he went to get the mail, he would always check to see if anyone was around. And once, Shinichi had tested this theory after a trip to the store with the professor by asking if he needed to get the mail. Agasa-hakase had quickly said no and ushered Shinichi home.

All the secrecy led Shinichi's detective tendencies to the only thing he could do: snoop.

For about a week, Shinichi snooped through Agasa's mail before the professor got it. (He had already worked out the professor's mail-retrieving schedule during his observations.) Unfortunately, nothing but bills and advertisements were there. He was about ready to give up and chalk it up to another one of the old man's eccentricities when he found a postcard of a beautiful beach. Curious, he turned the card over and read it.

"_Hakase, this new life will take some getting used to. Bali is really something else – all turquoise waters and white sand. I hope you haven't burnt down the house or overeaten just because I'm not there. Take care, Ai._"

Shinichi almost dropped the entire bundle of mail. Bali?! As in Indonesia?! He had never entertained the idea that Haibara could be _that_ far away. And what did she mean by "new life"? Was she never coming back?

"Shinichi?" It was the professor's voice. "What are you doing?"

Shinichi looked up to see Agasa frowning at him. His eyes darted from Shinichi's face to the postcard he still held in his hand. "Why didn't you tell me Haibara had left the country?" the detective demanded.

Agasa's frown deepened. "Have you been going through my mail?"

"Hakase, you lied to me," Shinichi replied. "You said you didn't know where she was."

Agasa walked the remaining steps towards him and grabbed the mail out of Shinichi's hands, including the postcard, which he was reluctant to let go of. "I didn't lie," he stated solemnly. "I don't know where she is. She never told me."

"She must have said something," Shinichi insisted. "Are you writing her? Tell her I'm going to bring her back!"

"She wouldn't be there anymore," Agasa responded.

"So you _do_ know where she is!" Shinichi accused. "Tell me!"

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why do you want to know?" Agasa asked.

"Because she...I...I can't leave a case unsolved," Shinichi finished lamely. "And she can't just...leave me."

"It took you three weeks to realize she was gone," the professor reminded him none too gently. "And even then, it was only because the kids noticed and asked you about it. Ai-kun is not a case for you to solve."

Agasa turned and started to head back into the house. Shinichi had never been treated by the professor like that; he had always been cheerful and welcoming.

"Wait, Hakase!"

The old scientist turned and looked at the young detective. It took Shinichi a few seconds to realize what that look reminded him of. It was the same look Ran used to give him when she was disappointed in him.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked the professor quietly.

Agasa sighed. "No, I guess this isn't different from what you would normally do. I just thought you would have trusted me more than one of your suspects. You didn't have to snoop through my private mail, Shinichi. I would have told you Ai-kun writes me sometimes. You could just have asked."

Then he turned and went back into the house, leaving Shinichi feeling cold and alone.

-o-o-o-o-o-

For about two weeks, Shinichi avoided the professor. The reason was mainly because he didn't know how to deal with someone's disappointment in him. He had always been intelligent and an overachiever. People tended to respect him and look up to him. Even when he was breaking (minor) laws, it was for justice, so the skirmishes were generally overlooked due to the greater end outcome.

The only disappointment he had ever really dealt with was Ran's, and in those cases, things had been (mostly) out of his control. The way the professor had looked at him when he realized that Shinichi was invading his privacy was burned into the young detective's mind, and Shinichi felt guilty because he knew Agasa was right. The professor had been in his life for as long as he could remember. If he couldn't trust Agasa, who could he trust? He should just have asked if Haibara had been in contact.

Now, without Haibara or Ran to keep him busy, Shinichi found he had a lot of free time and he missed Agasa's company. Besides, the only way he was going to find the truth about Haibara's departure was going to be through the professor, so if he wanted to know, he needed to go apologize.

It was just his luck that he had decided to do this just has the mail was arriving. The mailman waved at him as he left, and Shinichi looked down at the pile of mail that had been delivered for the professor.

At the top was a postcard with a picture of a stone lion.

Shinichi wanted to know what was written on the back.

He sighed and resisted the temptation. He would just be violating both Agasa and Haibara's privacy again. Holding on to his resolve, he pushed the door open and went into the house.

"Hakase!" he called. He wandered into the basement where he knew Agasa's workshop was and pushed open the door. The professor was looking through a messy pile of papers on his desk. "Hakase," Shinichi addressed again.

"Shinichi," the professor replied with a sigh.

The detective walked across the room and handed over the stack of mail. Agasa looked surprised until he saw the picture at the top of the stack.

"The mailman came by just as I was planning on coming for a visit," Shinichi explained hastily. "I swear I didn't read it. And I'm sorry...about the last one."

Agasa nodded and reached for the postcard, turning it over to read the back. Shinichi couldn't help but feel a bit jealous that the professor had a message, the second one that he knew of, from Haibara, while she hadn't even bothered saying goodbye to him. He had always thought he meant more to her than that. He watched the expression on Agasa's face turn from resigned to amused, and the old man even let out a chuckle as he held the card out to Shinichi.

Somewhat warily, he took the postcard from Agasa and read it. It was addressed to Beika 2nd District, Block 22, to Agasa Hiroshi, but the message was addressed to him.

_"Kudo-kun, stop going through the Professor's mail like a nosy but deranged detective."_

Shinichi smiled even as he rolled his eyes. She really did know him too well.

When he looked up again, Agasa was going through the rest of the mail.

"Hakase," he tried again. "I tried looking for Haibara, but I haven't had much luck. Do you know where she is?"

The professor set the mail down. "I really don't know where she is," he answered. "Why are you so adamant to find her? She already gave you the antidote before she left."

Shinichi sighed. "Because she's my friend. She's my partner, and I keep expecting to find her next to me when I want to say something, just to realize she's not there. It's not about the antidote. It's about the fact that this girl who knows me better than anyone else left the country without even saying goodbye."

"Shinichi, I really don't know," Agasa said again. "These postcards...she sends them out from the airport before she leaves the city. That's why I get them sporadically, and never from the same city twice. I don't know where she's flying to next until she sends me the next postcard."

"Oh...so if I fly to..." Shinichi squinted and read the bottom right hand corner of the postcard he still held. "...Singapore, she would already be at the next city."

"Yes."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she doesn't know where she's headed to next."

"Why does she have to head anywhere?" Shinichi frowned. "Beika's her home."

Agasa studied him in silence for a long moment, then as though he had made up his mind about something, he began to explain. "Ai-kun and I had a long discussion the night she finished the antidote. I'm not sure you realize this or not, Shinichi, but the APTX-4869 has been Ai-kun's entire life. She had been working on the poison for as long as she could remember, and subsequently, its antidote. Once both of those projects were no longer part of her life, you can imagine she suddenly felt like she lacked purpose. It would be as though there were no more murders for you to solve in this world."

Shinichi gave the professor a look bordering on horror. If there was no mystery for him to solve – ever – what the heck would he do with all his free time?

"She wanted to go out there and find who she really is – without the Black Organization and without the APTX-4869 defining her," Agasa finished.

"But they don't define her," Shinichi argued. "They're part of her past, but she can create her own future."

"She needs to find that out for herself," Agasa pointed out.

"Okay, but even if that was the case, why didn't she tell me? She could have said goodbye."

"Yes, well, I agree with you, actually. I did say she should at least tell you," the professor said. "She thought you would have gone out of your way to stop her."

Shinichi grimaced. Haibara was probably right. He likely would have done all kinds of things to try and stop her.

"She also made me promise her that I would only tell you all this if you asked about her of your own accord. So if you don't ask, or if you asked because Ayumi-kun or Ran-kun wanted you to find her, then I wasn't to tell you anything," Agasa admitted. "So I apologize as well, Shinichi. I suppose this proves she knows you better than I do."

"Yea, I guess she does," Shinichi muttered, looking at the card again. "She knew I'd be snooping eventually." A long pause followed, then he dared to ask. "Hakase, would you mind if I take a look at the other postcards you've received? I'm kind of curious where she has been in the past few months."

"I don't see why not," Agasa replied with a shrug. "I kind of think she figured you would eventually see them."

He got up from the chair and went to the bookshelf in the back of the room. He grabbed a box, the size of a shoebox, off a shelf and came back with it, handing it to Shinichi. The teen detective opened the box to find a handful more postcards.

"Do you think she'll she come back eventually?" he questioned softly, staring at the cards.

"I hope she would," Agasa admitted, "but she never mentioned it. She did say she was enjoying the travelling at this point when I asked last time, so I assume she wouldn't be anytime soon."

"Wait, 'when you asked'?" Shinichi echoed, looking back up at the professor. "You also talk to her?"

"Ah, it's not what you're thinking. She calls me sporadically, perhaps when she's bored," Agasa shrugged. "We've only spoken twice since she left, and both times, it was from a private number."

"Do you think I could also talk to her when she calls?" Shinichi asked eagerly. He missed talking to Haibara. The challenge of winning useless debates against her was something Conan had possessed, but that Shinichi did not. The pleasure of being understood even before you tried to put your own muddled thoughts into words was also much more underrated than Shinichi had first realized. They were some of the very few things Shinichi wished he hadn't lost.

"I could ask her if that's alright," Agasa agreed.

Shinichi beamed. Now he had something to look forward to – a phone call, and some more messages to read through.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The shoebox Agasa gave Shinichi only contained ten more postcards, but he held on to these messages with a kind of reverence that he couldn't explain. These were his last physical connection to Haibara and so, he read and reread those messages she wrote to the professor again and again. They were mostly impersonal greetings, but there was one that was somewhat philosophical. All the cards were from different cities, as Agasa had told him, which led Shinichi to believe that Haibara wouldn't be permanently away. After all, if she was moving, she hadn't found somewhere she wanted to stay in forever. So far, the places she had visited were all in Asia, but he could imagine she would eventually go further than that.

Over the course of the next few weeks, he started spending more time at the professor's. Since he knew Agasa's mail schedule, he would drop by around those times, waiting anxiously as Agasa flipped through the bundle to see if there was a new postcard. In addition, he started doing his homework there, in case Haibara called during those times.

One day, he stopped by after school to find Agasa waiting for him.

"Shinichi," the professor gave him a nervous smile.

"Is something wrong?" he asked immediately.

"Oh, no. Well, not _wrong_," Agasa tried to explain. "Ai-kun called a little while ago."

Shinichi knew what Agasa would tell him before the professor said it. "She said she doesn't want to talk to me," he finished the thought for the professor.

Agasa startled. "How did you know?"

The detective sighed and sat down on the couch across from his neighbour. "Because if she said yes, you wouldn't be looking at me like that," he explained. "Or, she would have called me."

There was a momentary silence until Shinichi spoke again. "I guess she didn't say why."

"She is trying to find out something for herself, and you're a very strong personality," Agasa hypothesized.

"Like I'm a distraction?" Shinichi gave a weak smile. "If she heard that, she would tell me I was flattering myself."

Agasa chuckled. "Well, there's a new postcard on the kitchen counter if you're interested. I'm going to work on my newest invention."

Shinichi nodded and watched the professor hum to himself and head down to the basement before getting up to check the postcard. The card was from Siem Reap in Cambodia, which added another country to the list of places Haibara had travelled to.

_"Hakase, I think I've seen enough temples to last me for the next decade. This all makes me wonder about the role religion plays in people's lives. You know I'm not religious, but it is an interesting topic. Hope you're still well."_

Shinichi smiled sadly. That was the type of thing _he_ would discuss (or debate) with Haibara. He would take a stance, and Haibara would purposely take an opposing stance, and they would argue until the cows came home. And just when he about had enough, she would smirk and tell him which points of his she agreed with, leaving him flabbergasted, before she walked off.

Suddenly, he felt such an intense ache in his chest that he had to sit down at the breakfast bar. For someone who prided himself on his observational skills, he was certainly an idiot. He should have noticed how ingrained Haibara had become in his life.

And for the first time, it hit him that he couldn't even tell her how much he missed her.

-o-o-o-o-o-

There weren't many things that surprised Shinichi. After all, it was his job to find out what was in the box before it was opened. However, two weeks after his revelation about Haibara's role in his life, he got a surprise, something he wasn't expecting. He was going through his mail when he found, amongst the bills and advertisements, a postcard with a platypus on it. On the back was a short message that made him want to smile and scowl at the same time.

_"This reminded me of you. Now stop camping at the Professor's house for my postcards."_

The postcard was unsigned, but he knew exactly who it was from. Not only did he only know one person who could be in Australia at the moment (or _was_ in Australia at the time the card was sent), but only one person could put him in his place with two short sentences. His first thought was that Agasa had somehow told her that he had been spending a whole lot more time there, especially around the time of the day when Agasa normally went to get the mail, but then Shinichi wasn't sure Agasa had noticed him spending extra time there. He had been a regular in the Agasa household since he could walk, after all. So the only conclusion was: Haibara really knew him too well, and this made him want to smile.

His second thought was he had no idea how a platypus, of all things, could remind Haibara of him. He scowled at the platypus pictured on the card. It might be his ego speaking, but he thought he was better looking than the platypus.

Still, it was the first direct message he had gotten from her since her departure, so even the platypus couldn't dampen his mood.

A few days later, he received another postcard from Australia. Ayers Rock looked big and red on the small card.

_"This looked exactly the same in real life as in pictures. Strange. Usually, the real thing is much more impressive, like how people are much more interesting in person. You likely have an opposing viewpoint about that. You always do."_

Shinichi smiled. He did in fact have a viewpoint about that, but it wasn't as though he could write back. He wondered if he could leave a message with the Professor to relay to her the next time she called.

He took the card into the house to file away with the rest. When he opened the box though, he saw that the amount of cards Haibara had sent was beginning to pile up. His mental list of her travel path was also getting much longer. Staring blankly at the empty wall on the one side of his study, Shinichi let his mind wander and pondered whether there was a better way to keep track of Haibara's whereabouts.

A few minutes later, he had taken the measurements of his blank wall and was on his computer looking for the largest world map he could find that would fit on the wall.

He had an interior project design to undertake.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The postcard he received just a week before Christmas was a beautiful picture of Machu Picchu in Peru. He had to admit, that looking at the mysterious city made him just a little jealous of Haibara's travels. There were so many places in the world that held so much history, so many secrets, that he wished he could have the opportunity to see some of this himself. Sometimes, like right then, he envisioned himself as Conan, visiting all these places with her, commenting on the architecture, or the civilizations, and then the vision would change to her asking him to shut the hell up so she could enjoy the sights in peace.

Shinichi smiled at his own vivid imagination. He could still hear her voice clearly, and he had no doubt that his vision would play out close to reality had the two them really gone travelling together.

He flipped the card over and read the short note.

_"I saw this at sunrise. It was unbelievable; I had never seen anything like it. It made me think there are all kinds of mysteries in this world that we may never find the answer to. That probably rubs you the wrong way, but I think it's true. This will probably arrive close to Christmas, so have a merry one. Do try to stop Hakase from eating too much."_

He smiled and was about to put the postcard down when he saw some dots and dashes at the bottom of the card. Curiously, he took a closer look and quickly realized that it was Morse code. There were obviously 3 letters, since each had been separated by a slash. The first was three dots, which he knew was an S, then it was a C, followed finally by an L.

Shinichi frowned. SCL? Was that supposed to be an acronym for something? And why would Haibara send him something in code?

Abandoning the rest of his mail, he walked into his study with the postcard, thinking. If she had sent it in the mail, it certainly wasn't an emergency since calling or email would be much, much faster. So at least he knew that she was fine. That meant that it was sent for leisure, something to inform or entertain him. She couldn't have any information on a case, and it was certainly something she didn't need a reply about, since he didn't know where her next destination was. She only sent these out from the airport as she left the city.

Wait...airports. Weren't airport codes three letters?

Excited now, he quickly went online to check his hunch. SCL, he soon found out, was the Santiago International Airport in Chile. That must be where she was flying next! He almost flew out the front door and gate, down the street, and barrelled into Agasa's house.

"Hakase!" he called as he slammed the front door shut.

The professor was in the kitchen, making himself a snack, and looked up in bewilderment at Shinichi's obvious enthusiasm.

"Shinichi," Agasa addressed him with a smile. "Good news on a new case?"

"No," Shinichi denied. "Well, actually, sort of, but it's not really a case." At Agasa's curious look, he continued, "I know where Haibara is."

"You do?" the professor asked, suddenly sounding wary.

"Yes! Look!" He thrust the postcard into Agasa's face. "The Morse code at the bottom of the card translates to SCL, which is the airport in Santiago, Chile."

"Shinichi."

The teenager went on as though Agasa hadn't said anything. "It's close enough to Peru, which is where she sent out this postcard, so Santiago must be her next stop."

"Shinichi."

"If we go online and bought tickets now, we could be flying out to Santiago by tomorrow!"

The sombre look on the professor's face was a sharp contrast to Shinichi's exuberant one, which the teen detective noticed once he took a more careful look at Agasa.

"What's wrong, Hakase?"

"Shinichi," the professor began, his tone serious, "I will _not_ fly out there to find her. And if you ever only take one piece of advice from me, don't fly out there either."

"What? But why?" Shinichi frowned. "We should bring her home. She belongs in Beika."

"Maybe," Agasa conceded, "but that's not a decision for us to make. Ai-kun left in order to find what she wants out of her life. _Her_ life, not yours, not mine. Right now, she calls me sporadically and sends you postcards. That means she hasn't been able to cut ties. She still wants us in her life. I tell her every time she calls that there will always be a place for her here. She knows she can come back and live here whenever she wants. The fact that she hasn't yet, means she hasn't found what she's looking for."

"Then, why did she tell me where she is headed to next if she doesn't want me to come after her?" Shinichi wondered helplessly.

"I don't know," the Professor answered. "But if you go after her and bring her back when she's clearly not ready to come back, what do you think would happen?"

Shinichi grimaced. "It's Haibara. She would probably pick up and leave again as soon as I'm not looking," he admitted reluctantly.

"And you will never hear from her again," Agasa finished. "You know what they say about holding on too tight."

"Sometimes, things slip away faster the tighter you hold on to them," Shinichi whispered.

Agasa nodded. "Ai-kun will come back, because she _does_ belong here. You just need to give her time to realize that."

"But..." Shinichi trailed off. _But I want her to be here now. I need her to be here. I miss her._ He looked back down at the postcard. "Waiting sucks," he muttered. "I should go apologize more to Ran."

Agasa chuckled. "Well, you have a new mystery to solve, at least."

"I do?" Shinichi looked at his long-time neighbour in surprise.

"Why do you think Ai-kun decided to tell you where she is flying to next?" Agasa asked.

"I thought she wanted me to come after her."

"That's awfully self-centered of you."

Shinichi made a face at the Professor and got up to leave. "How often does she call you anyways? You're starting to sound like her."

Agasa grinned at Shinichi's retreating form. As much as he thought of the detective as a very beloved nephew he doted on, it was good to see him mature and become a little more down-to-earth. While he himself was certainly a little lonely without Ai, and he would love it if his surrogate daughter would come home, he was glad that her absence was making Shinichi look more carefully at his own actions and decisions. It was a good lesson in growing up.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It took Shinichi three days to figure out what to do about the newfound information on Haibara's whereabouts. He started with the easiest question, which was why it would be in code. The logical reason was that Haibara didn't want anyone who accidentally read it to know where she was. This reinforced Agasa's point that she wasn't ready to come back. This meant, Shinichi concluded, that her location was for him to know and him alone.

So then, if she didn't want him to come bring her back to Beika, why did she want him to know?

He debated the possibility that she wanted him to come with her, but she didn't want to talk to him on the phone, so he can't fathom why she would want to see him face to face. Plus, she must know that unlike her, he had school that he couldn't miss. Next was the possibility that it was a test. It would be just like Haibara to tease him with something like her location and see what he would do. For all he knew, she wasn't in Santiago and was trying to see if he would drag her back to Japan at the drop of a hat.

It wasn't until he recalled the last message he had left for her with the Professor that he realized what he could do. He had told Agasa that it was unfair she could write him, but he had no way of responding.

Knowing what city she was in now, he could write her.

He certainly didn't have an address, but he knew that people without a permanent address could receive mail in General Delivery at the post office. Haibara hadn't been explicit that was what he could use the information for, but somehow, he knew, like the two of them had always known what each other was thinking, that this was what she wanted.

So he pulled out a plain piece of notepaper from his desk drawer and started to write.

_"Haibara,_

_I'm guessing this is what you wanted to tell me from your last postcard. I'm hoping I'm right. Funny, huh? I used to have more confidence about your messages. I guess if you don't mock me about that in your next postcard, I'll know you never got this._

_You're right. I do disagree that there are mysteries we can't solve, but the beauty of nature isn't a mystery, not the kind I'm thinking of anyways. I refuse to keep Hakase on a diet in the middle of the holidays. That's just cruel. You're on your own re-enforcing that one. Since this will probably get to you after Christmas, I hope yours was a good one. How does it feel to spend Christmas in the middle of summer?_

_Shinichi"_

He folded up the notepaper and put it into a non-descript envelope. Without even thinking what name she might be going by, he addressed the letter to "Haibara Ai". She had always been Haibara Ai to him; he had never really known her other personas. He mailed the letter early the next morning, wondering if she would ever get it.

Shinichi was rewarded for his deduction about 10 days later.

A postcard in the mail depicted a metropolis with mountains in the background. In the bottom right hand corner, in flowing script, was written "Santiago".

_"You, Saviour of the Metropolitan Police Force, lack confidence in a deduction? Either the Santiago newspaper isn't as global as they claim, or you're not as important as you think. A summery Christmas is strange, but not unpleasant. I feel like the holidays should include snow. Sand is messy and gets everywhere."_

Despite the fact that Haibara had somehow insulted him twice in five sentences, the grin on Shinichi's face couldn't have been wider. There was no code at the bottom of this postcard, which meant she must still be there, or planned to be for a bit.

This was, by no means, the same as seeing her or bringing her back, but it was a start. He could tell her things now without going through the Professor.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The first months in the new year were filled with entrance exams and preparation for high school graduation. All around him, students were busy with studying and balancing their extra-curricular activities, more stressed out than ever before about their futures. Shinichi, however, found that although he was busy, he was not nearly as nervous as Ran or Sonoko. Ran went to cram school and extra after-class tutorials to ensure she knew what she was doing. Shinichi went with her to the first cram class, fell asleep after they started reviewing advanced biology, and never went again.

It wasn't that he was lazy, but with his eidetic memory and natural propensity towards reading, he just didn't need help reviewing Japanese or English or literature. Haibara had left behind a number of graduate school level biology and chemistry textbooks at the Professor's, and he had never admitted it to anyone, but on days when he missed her more than usual, he would read them. It was strange, but it made him feel like she was with him somehow, and over the months since she had been gone, he had read through almost all of them. So, he didn't really need help with the sciences either. The only subject he studied a little harder on was mathematics, and truth be told, after the stress of the life-and-death situations he had been put through during the hunt for the Black Organization, a little math just didn't seem like a big deal.

In between studying, he spent his time helping the First Division with their cases, or reading, or waiting for Haibara's next postcard.

On Valentine's Day, Ran presented him with a heart-shaped, homemade chocolate. Shinichi was surprised because he thought that since they were no longer dating, she would just give him store-bought chocolates like she would to any other friend.

"Um...thanks," he said with a bit of bewilderment, like he wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer.

Ran waved her hands nervously in front of her and stammered, "It's not...don't think of it like a...a confession or anything!"

"Okay?" Shinichi responded, confused.

"I just...I mean..." Ran paused and took a deep breath, trying again to explain properly. "What I mean is – I know we weren't really in the right place to start a relationship before, with all the pressure from school and your case. I thought with a new chapter in our lives, maybe... but you don't have to!"

Shinichi was silent as he studied her. Ran still looked the same as she did in all his fondest memories of her – young, lively, beautiful. She was untouched by darkness, bringing a light to every person she met. Maybe it hadn't worked before because he had been too shrouded by darkness as he hunted the Black Organization. Perhaps she was right and he was in a better place now that things had settled a bit.

"I..." Shinichi began. He wasn't able to continue because he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. His head suddenly hurt.

"You don't have to answer now," Ran replied hurriedly, blushing as she stared down at her shoes.

"Ran." She looked up at him. "Could you...give me some time?" Shinichi asked.

With a small sad smile, she answered, "of course. I'll be off to cram class then. Unlike some people, I'm actually concerned about my exams."

Shinichi waved at her and watched as she walked away down the street. He looked back down at the chocolate she had given him, feeling the headache pounding again. He turned and started walking towards his house.

It wasn't that he didn't like Ran. Far from it, actually. She was one of the most attractive females he had ever met in his life, and for a long, long time, he was sure that he loved her. The feeling was still there. He cared a whole lot about her. Somehow though, there was just something...different...than before. Ran had thought it was because he had been stressed out from the Black Organization case and trying to catch up to school, but Shinichi knew that wasn't it.

The Black Organization had been taken down for close to a month before the antidote had become available, so most of the work had been finished by then. Besides, the follow-up work had been much less stressful than the preparation leading up to the takedown. He and Haibara had the strangest sleeping patterns for weeks because of sporadic insomnia. As for school, well, let's just say that had been the least of his problems.

Reaching his house, Shinichi stuck his hand into the mailbox and removed a rather large pile of letters. He went into his study and grabbed the letter opener. Unsurprisingly, the majority of the letters were Valentine's Day fan letters. He skimmed them and tossed them aside. Since the Conan thing, he had lost interest in fan letters. As flattering as it was to receive them, he just didn't have the same enthusiasm for them as before.

At the bottom of the pile though, he found a postcard with an extremely random picture of two men he guessed was supposed to be Holmes and Watson (judging by the magnifying glass and medicine bag), dressed in feathers and sequins, with '_Rio de Janeiro loves you!_' written in glittering gold letters.

_"I saw this and knew I had to send it to you. I think these two are probably the Valentines you're hoping to get anyways. And if not, well, apparently Rio de Janeiro loves you. Try not to leave it heartbroken."_

Shinichi snorted. He could almost hear the message in Haibara's sarcastic tone. He wondered where she had even found a postcard like that in Brazil, since Holmes and Watson were decidedly British. He grabbed a fresh piece of notepaper and wrote his response:

_"Haibara,_

_Do you time your postcards? I got the latest one right on Valentine's Day. And while I do love Holmes and Watson, I think I prefer something a little more solid as a Valentine. As much as I hate to say it, these two aren't too lively once I leave my books. By the way, if you're already sending me Sherlock Holmes merchandise now, should I be expecting a crate once your travels take you to London?_

_Yours,_  
_Shinichi_

_P.S. I can't leave Rio de Janeiro heartbroken. That's absurd. Cities don't have feelings and therefore can't love me either. It makes a lot more sense if that reads 'Someone in Rio de Janeiro loves you'. Just saying."_

Shinichi tucked the letter into an envelope and addressed it. He looked back at the ridiculous picture on the postcard and smiled.

His headache was gone.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Near the end of February, Shinichi asked Ran out for dinner and a movie.

Logically, he decided, Ran's reasoning made sense. They still obviously cared for each other, and he had grown up thinking he would marry her someday. It seemed ridiculous to not at least give it another shot, despite the fact that their first attempt hadn't worked out as smoothly as they thought it would.

The beginning was awkward, if not rocky. Shinichi was still confused about what was different, but Ran was ready to pick up exactly where they had left off last time. He tried harder to meet her expectations about their relationship, such as paying more attention to her moods, taking her to places she liked to go instead of the places he wanted to go, and even trying to reduce the amount of time he spent at the Metropolitan Police Headquarters. Very quickly, he found himself settling into a pattern. Things became easier because Shinichi got progressively better at deciphering Ran's moods, and he knew exactly what to do or say to meet those expectations she had set.

As the weeks went by though, Shinichi realized a few things.

Firstly, he knew and understood Ran much, much better that she did him. Oh, Ran was sweet, and she tried her best to do things that would make him happy. The problem was that she didn't really know _what_ would make him happy. Sometimes, she made him a fancy (delicious) dinner when he was in one of those moods and all he wanted was a bowl of ramen and a long chat about Holmes. Sometimes, she suggested going to see a high school soccer game but what he really wanted was to go to the new exhibit at the museum because their latest artifact was a huge ruby he just knew would be the KID's next target. He missed the way Haibara and him were often effortlessly on the same page.

Secondly, even though Ran was happier, he was not. He hated to say it, but some things were almost a chore. He had a daily reminder in his phone to call Ran at a specific time, and he kept fidgeting and wishing some dates would hurry along so he could go home and check the mail, or write his next letter, or read the latest mystery novel.

Eventually, it became obvious even to Ran that those issues that caused their break-up the first time weren't just because of "stress from the Black Organization case and school". Despite Shinichi's best efforts, Ran was irritated that he couldn't just leave his cases and mysteries at home when they were out and Shinichi was irritated that he was consistently explaining things to her. While once upon a time, he had been happy to show off his knowledge and would do so with flair, nowadays, he just wanted the other person – his partner, he supposed – to _get it_. After the complexity of dealing with plans within plans and information overload from investigating the Black Organization, it seemed he had developed an appreciation for unspoken understanding and the comfort it brought.

The start of university did not help either. Although they were both attending the University of Tokyo, they had different majors and their class schedules differed greatly. Ran, who was used to seeing Shinichi every day, wanted to make time to continue that. Shinichi, however, found himself more involved in cases since his schedule was more flexible, and between classes, the cases, and anxiously waiting for Haibara's next communication, things came to a head shortly before Golden Week, when Ran made the effort to come by his house. She had been waiting for him when he got home from the bookstore.

"Hey," Shinichi greeted her as he grabbed the mail and opened the gate.

"Hey," Ran replied with a smile. "Where have you been?"

"Hmm..." Shinichi murmured absentmindedly as he sifted through the mail. "Just some errands." There were bills in his mail, and some flyers, and a letter from his mom with tickets to some kind of premiere, and a postcard.

"Shinichi, are you listening to me?" Ran's voice broke through his reverie and he looked up to see her miffed look.

"Of course, sorry," he answered. "You were saying?"

"I said Sonoko asked if we would like to go to Okinawa with her family for Golden Week," Ran explained. "Their family company is having some kind of opening ceremony for their new branch there."

"I can't," Shinichi responded. "There's this case-"

Ran threw up her hands. "It's always a case," she said angrily. "Why can't you ever leave a case and just do something for me?!"

"I do!" Shinichi argued. "Just because you haven't noticed doesn't mean-"

"Well if I haven't noticed," Ran interrupted, "that means you're not doing a very good job!"

"Argh!" Shinichi yelled back. "Why can't you be like Haibara and just _get it_?!"

A long pause followed Shinichi's outburst. Then Ran asked softly. "Haibara as in Ai-chan?"

Shinichi sighed. "Yes."

"She's like Conan, isn't she?" Ran whispered. "She's older than she looks."

"She's our age," he admitted.

Another long pause, then Ran proceeded. "Shinichi, do you even love me anymore?"

He put a hand to his forehead, feeling that familiar headache that appeared whenever he tried to decipher his relationship with Ran these days. "I think I do," he answered earnestly. "But I also think that you were right the first time. Maybe we're better off as friends. Something's different than before. I still love you, but maybe just not in the same way."

Ran reached out and touched his shoulder, making him look at her. Quietly, she asked, "Do you love Ai-chan?"

Shinichi's eyes widened and he stared at Ran. No way. He couldn't possibly love Haibara Ai, the sarcastic scientist that was his verbal sparring partner. Flashes of memories suddenly played through his mind – the way Haibara would understand his moods and what he wanted to say or do before he even did them, the way she helped him on his cases without needing instructions, the way she would smile at him when she realized he had solved yet another mystery, the glint in her eyes as she teased him. He remembered comforting her by lending her his glasses as Conan, risking his own life to save her on the hijacked bus, the loss that ripped through him when he erroneously thought she had left on that train and again when he realized she had actually left without telling him. There were so many things that defined him as a nineteen year old versus when he had been seventeen, and Haibara had been there with him through all those hardships, as his adversary, his friend, and his partner.

And suddenly, the headache started to fade away. He knew what was different. It was _him_; _he_ was a different person than when he had been seventeen, and that was why his relationship with Ran was different. While he had grown and changed substantially in the past couple of years, she had remained the same. He wouldn't wish his experiences on anyone, but he also couldn't reproduce them so someone would understand him better.

"I...don't know," he finally answered Ran's question. Looking into Ran's eyes, he continued. "Haibara is someone who does the things I'm not very good at: being cautious, calling back-up, thinking before doing something. She argues with me and mocks me and keeps me grounded when everyone else tells me how great I am. I hate that I lose most arguments, but she...knows Conan and knows Shinichi and accepts them both. I never have to lie or explain or justify anything I do unless I want to. I still remember the way she looked the last time I saw her even though it's been almost a year, and the voice in my head sounds like her."

Ran's smile was sad. "Did the voice in your head ever sound like me?"

"Huh? We never argued the way I argue with the voice in my head," Shinichi told her, a bit puzzled. "...And now, I sound crazy."

Ran laughed, seeming to understand something he didn't. "And where is Ai-chan anyways?"

Shinichi looked down and flipped through the stack of mail in his hand until he found the postcard again. It was a picture of a man smoking a pipe, and in the corner was written "221B Baker Street". Shinichi grinned widely and looked up at Ran.

"London," he answered. Then he flipped the card over and read the short message.

_"There's no crate coming,"_ was all it said. But Shinichi burst out laughing.

Seeing the joy on his face, Ran suddenly seemed to come to terms with the situation. She hadn't seen Shinichi laugh like that in a very long time. She stepped forward and gave him a friendly hug, which he returned after a bit of surprise.

"Good luck, Shinichi. I'll hopefully still see you around."

The detective watched her push open the gate and leave, feeling as though something had been resolved without him even knowing about it. It didn't seem like Ran was angry though, which he decided was a plus. An angry karate champion was never a good thing.

He went into the study and looked at the world map he had put up. Colourful pins littered across the map, indicating cities he had received postcards from. He felt like something was missing. The map belonged to Haibara as much as it did to him. She was the one who went to these places. Yet somehow, she didn't seem to have a voice in regards to this. He looked at the postcard in his hand, and then at the box of postcards on his desk.

He had an idea. He went to the desk and got out two pins and a piece of string. He put one pin through London on the map, and one through the postcard of 221B Baker Street, then he looped the string through both pushpins. He stepped back to look at his work. It seemed more colourful now. If he put up the whole box of postcards the same way, the wall of his study would almost seem like Haibara's travel diary. There were a lot of postcards, and it would be a lot of work, but it would be worth it if it made it seem like Haibara was with him in spirit. At least it was Golden Week and he had the time. He could almost hear Haibara smirking and teasing him about having too much time on his hands. She would be unable to hide the way her eyes sparkled in appreciation though.

Shinichi was a third of the way through the postcards, reminiscing as he reread the messages for the umpteenth time when a thought came to him.

This was not normal behaviour for someone he thought of as a friend.

Crap. He was in love with Haibara.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi spent most of Golden Week working on a case with the First Division. When he wasn't going through the case file, he wondered what he would do with his latest revelation.

He now had the best reason in the world to go after her and bring her home. It wouldn't even be that strange if he showed up in London, given his love of Sherlock Holmes. Still, there was a huge question hanging over him. He may love Ai (and it struck him as strange how easily he thought of her as Ai now instead of Haibara), but he didn't know if Ai reciprocated those feelings. He could vividly picture himself confessing his feelings and the strawberry blonde looking at him like he had lost his mind somewhere between Tokyo and London.

He stopped by Agasa's house the day before Golden Week ended. The professor was making some kind of pasta that Ai had taught him before she left.

"Hakase," he addressed the older man as he sat down at the breakfast bar. "You told me not to go after Haibara, right?"

The professor paused in stirring the mixture of sauce and pasta. "And you decided you weren't going to, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yes, but...things are different now," Shinichi admitted.

"How so?"

"I...have a better reason for wanting to see her," Shinichi said cryptically. It seemed wrong to tell Agasa-hakase before he told the girl scientist.

Agasa resumed his stirring of the pasta thoughtfully. After a minute of silence, he answered Shinichi's unasked question. "Things may have changed for you, but they haven't for her. If they have, she would be here. I guess you have to decide if your new reason is worth the possibility you may never hear from her again."

Shinichi grimaced.

Agasa put the pasta into two different bowls and handed one to Shinichi. He sat down next to the young detective at the breakfast bar with his own bowl. "Shinichi," he began, "I miss her too, but I don't want to wake up every day wondering if she is still here or if she packed her bags overnight and left. The only way I can be sure of that is if _she_ decides this is home."

Shinichi sighed. He understood what Agasa was trying to say; he really did. It didn't make it easier though. "Say, Hakase, did she ever tell you what she thought of me?" he asked instead, changing the subject.

"You mean other than arrogant, know-it-all, irresponsible, and a whole other list of epithets?" Agasa joked.

"Do you think that's what she really thought of me?"

"Well, _I_ think she said it to hide what she _really_ thought," the professor admitted. "You were pretty reckless during the investigation into the Black Organization. I think she cared a lot more than she wanted us to know, and she was worried about you. It was just easier to default to anger and irritation."

"You think she still cares about me now?"

"She wouldn't be writing you if she didn't," Agasa pointed out. "Is everything okay? Why the sudden curiosity into what Ai-kun thought of you? I thought you already knew, since she certainly knows you well enough."

Shinichi was silent as he dug slowly into his pasta. Yes, Ai did know him exceptionally well. She was able to accurately predict most of his thoughts and actions, which meant that she must have observed him quite a bit while she had been around. The optimistic side of him allowed the thought that she must have liked him at least a little. If she didn't, she wouldn't have paid enough attention to him. Still, the pessimistic side argued, she could have done it because she was taking notes on the effects of the APTX-4869. But then, why bother with him now?

"I think she must have liked me at least a bit," he said out loud.

Agasa gave him a funny look. "Why wouldn't she?" he questioned.

He smiled at the professor. Obviously, they weren't exactly on the same page, but that was fine. "Never mind," he decided. "So, it's been a little while since you told me about a new invention."

Agasa grinned happily and launched into a monologue about his newest ideas. Shinichi listened as he finished his dinner. For now, it was okay that Ai wasn't there. She hadn't been able to drop him from her life, even though she was so far away; that had to be a good sign. The professor could keep him company while they both waited for her to come back. Sooner or later, she would realize Beika was home and she would come back to him. And when she came back, he would do everything he could to convince her to stay.

-o-o-o-o-o-

On the last day of the spring trimester, Shinichi came home to find one Hattori Heiji waiting for him at the gate of the Kudo mansion. The Detective of the West was leaning casually against the gate, baseball cap on his head, a grin on his face.

"Yo, Kudo!" he greeted Shinichi as the latter rounded the corner onto his street.

"Hattori!" Shinichi replied. "What brings you to Tokyo?"

The dark-skinned teen launched into a story of investigating a case about a rumoured psychic who had predicted two murders and was currently residing near Tokyo. Meanwhile, Shinichi half listened as he pushed open the gate and checked his mailbox.

He smiled when he found a postcard among the regular bills and advertisements. This one was a picture of a white terrace with the endless blue ocean stretched in front of it. There was a feeling of beauty, and peace, and serenity about it. He flipped it over to find the now familiar handwriting on the back.

_"I think Santorini might be one of my favourite places in the world. There's something so calming about it, like the world will forgive you for anything. Kudo-kun, have you ever seen a place like that?"_

Shinichi tried to flip through in his mind all the places he had been to in his life. There were certainly places in Japan he thought were peaceful and impressive, but Ai seemed to mean something deeper than just a place of beauty.

"Earth to Kudo!" came Hattori's annoyed voice, breaking Shinichi's musings.

He looked up to find his friend scowling at him. "Err, sorry. I got lost in thought. What were you saying?"

"Never mind that," Hattori responded, snatching the postcard out of Shinichi's hands. "What are ya even looking at?"

"Hey! Give that back!"

Shinichi tried to reach for the postcard, but Hattori had years of kendo practice on his side, and he easily sidestepped the attempt.

"Santorini?" Hattori asked. The momentary pause in action allowed Shinichi to snatch the postcard back. "Who do you know in Greece?"

Shinichi sighed. "Haibara," he answered reluctantly.

"The little lady? Oh yea, Kazuha mentioned Nee-chan said something like her parents had 'taken her home'," Hattori recalled, using the air quotations since both he and Shinichi knew that wasn't the truth. "I wondered where she moved to."

"She didn't move. Well, not really," Shinichi frowned, wondering how to describe Ai's new living arrangements.

"On vacation then?" Hattori prompted, now looking confused.

Shinichi shook his head. He signalled for Hattori to follow him and guided his friend to the small office next to the library. Hattori noticed the giant world map on the wall right away and whistled lowly at the number of pins that had been stuck to different parts of the map. Shinichi went to the desk to get a new pin, and Hattori watched as the other boy used a step ladder to reach higher and put a pin through one of the Greek islands. The postcard was similarly pinned up to join the myriad of them around the map.

They were both silent for a moment, then Hattori spoke. "She's seen a lot of the world."

Shinichi nodded.

"Does she send you a card from every place she visits?" Hattori asked.

"I don't think so," Shinichi admitted. "I'm sure she must end up in some no-name town sometimes."

"But you're tracking her movements."

"Sort of. I'm not really keeping track for something specific," Shinichi tried to explain. "I think I just like to know where she is. It's the detective in me."

"Why not just call to keep in touch?" Hattori questioned.

Shinichi shook his head. "No clue. She calls the professor, but she told him she doesn't want me on those calls. I guess she doesn't really want to talk to me."

"But she writes you?"

Shinichi nodded.

"That's...odd," Hattori decided.

Shinichi laughed. "Since when was Ai anything but odd?"

Hattori raised an eyebrow at the slip in appellation. He looked thoughtfully back at the map with hundreds of pins through it and all the postcards that were strung neatly to their respective cities. Shinichi was smiling at the map, but there was something sad in his eyes when they were just speaking.

"You're in love with her," Hattori concluded out loud.

Shinichi startled, turning to look at his dark-skinned friend with wide eyes. "How did you...?"

"Oh please," Hattori scoffed. "You're not the only detective in this room. You keep track of every place she's been to on a massive world map, even though she's not interested in talking to you. You pin up every postcard as though they're winning lottery tickets. That's not really something someone would do for a friend. Kazuha gets postcards from her friends when they travel; they're probably in the back of her closet somewhere after the first 3 days."

Shinichi sighed. "And here I thought you were slower than molasses."

"Hey! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I wasn't expecting anyone to figure it out, I guess," Shinichi answered honestly.

"Anyone else seen this little project?"

"No."

"Try showing someone. Bet ya they'll figure it out."

"I'd have to explain the Conan debacle to them," Shinichi pointed out. "Otherwise, I would come across as a lolicon."

Hattori grinned and threw his arm around his friend. "So, what did the little lady say about it?"

Shinichi shook his head. "She doesn't know," he admitted.

"You haven't told her?" Hattori frowned.

"What am I supposed to say? _'I'm in love with you; can you please come back now?'_ Her next postcard is going to say _'haha, very funny, Kudo-kun'_," Shinichi predicted. "Agasa-hakase is right. She has to want to come back on her own. She has to figure out that despite all these beautiful places in the world that she has seen and experienced, Beika is where she belongs, even if the rest of us already know that."

Hattori was temporarily startled by the maturity his friend was displaying. The differences between this relationship and his previous relationship with Ran were striking. The Kudo he met almost two years ago had held on to Ran as tightly as he could, even when he was Conan, and did everything he could to be as close to Ran as possible, as though he was afraid that she would leave as soon as he let go. This Kudo standing before him was allowing the woman he loved to wander as much as she needed, because he understood that refusing to let go wasn't the same as love and he believed that she would eventually return on her own.

"You know," Hattori said quietly, "she probably loves you too."

"You think so?" Shinichi looked hopefully at his friend.

Hattori gestured to the display of postcards on the wall. "No offense, Kudo, but despite the fact that you're one of my best friends, if I was travelling the world like this, I wouldn't take the time to send you this ridiculous amount of postcards," he pointed out.

"I suppose," Shinichi replied thoughtfully, giving him a small smile.

Hattori smiled back. He hoped that the little lady would come back soon and make some of that sadness disappear. For now though...

"So Kudo, about those psychic murders I was talking about..."

-o-o-o-o-o-

A week after solving the psychic murders with Hattori, Shinichi received a new postcard in the mail. This one was unsurprisingly a picture of the Acropolis in Athens. He had figured she might take a look around Greece. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered Ai being interested in ancient civilizations.

_"I like it here. Everything has a story, and good or bad, they all have a purpose somehow. I wonder, if I was a story, what would people think?"_

The bottom of the letter had a long string of numbers on the left, and a much shorter string on the right. Shinichi grinned and grabbed his notebook off his desk, flipping to a new page. He jotted down the string on the left and started thinking, moving the numbers around in his mind. 20 minutes later, he had deciphered the key to the code, and applying the key to the shorter string on the right, he got CTA. He turned on his computer, and soon, he knew where to send his next letter. CTA was Catania-Fontanarossa Airport in Sicily.

He got out a fresh piece of paper and started writing.

_"I think you would be one of the most fascinating stories in the world. A tragic childhood, a rebellion, a path to freedom, and beating the odds to be everything even you didn't believe you could be. It sounds like a great Hollywood movie in the making._

_Haibara, you are (and can be) who you want to be. We all make things happen for ourselves, sometimes with a little help. I hope you tell me when you find out who it is you want to be._

_In the meantime, how did you enjoy Greece? Although the Acropolis didn't surprise me, I never figured you for the sun and relaxation type. I think Sicily is going to drive you crazy. I hear they're laid back there._

_I solved a case with Hattori a little while ago. Psychic murders – you would have scoffed with me when it was being discussed."_

Shinichi paused. He wanted to at least tell her he missed her, but this was Ai. She would probably scoff at that comment. He wanted to tell her he loved her too, but it didn't seem right, and he hadn't been lying when he had told Hattori that she would probably think it was a joke. He sighed, his eyes falling onto the code for her next destination that she had given him.

He smiled and shot up from the desk, his chair falling onto the ground from the sudden movement. He hurried to the library and into his father's cryptology book collection, trying to find information on how to create his own code.

Half an hour and some work later, he smiled down at the scribbles on his previously blank sheet of paper. Putting together a code was harder than he thought; next time he met the Kaitou KID, he was going to stop just long enough to tell that crazy thief that Shinichi gave him credit for being way more creative than anyone he had ever met.

He wrote his coded _"I love you"_ at the bottom of the letter. If Ai knew that he had spent time coming up with that, maybe she would take the message seriously. He labelled the envelope for General Delivery in Catania, Italy, and sealed his letter, making a mental note to go to the post office the next day.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi almost laughed out loud when the next postcards he received were all of the west coast of Italy. They somehow all arrived in his mailbox the same day and he found pictures of the Amalfi Coast, of Florence, and of the Coliseum in Rome. He flipped through them and found that the one from the Amalfi Coast and of Florence were sent the same day, and the one of the Coliseum only a day later. He placed them in order and started reading.

_"You're probably laughing right now and thinking 'I told you so'. I didn't spend that much time in Sicily. Although the beaches were nice, I'm beach-ed out from Greece, which was beautiful, by the way. I think you would have appreciated their history, once you got over the fact that many of them did unexplainable things."_

_"The Amalfi Coast is amazing. I'm still surprised how beautiful some of these places are. No two places are alike, and they still manage to take my breath away, even though I've already seen so many amazing things. In some ways, it reminds me of you. Every time I think there's something you can't do, you prove me wrong. Like a Rubik's Cube. Every time I think I understand you, I find out I'm wrong."_

Shinichi paused and reread the second postcard. He shook his head. "I'm not the Rubik's Cube, Ai," he mumbled out loud. "You are. I know you better than anyone else and I still haven't discovered all the facets."

He flipped to the last postcard.

_"I keep forgetting. I haven't figured out your code. I've never really been a code person. Oh well, if it's important, you can get the professor to tell me."_

"No, I can't," Shinichi said to the postcard in his hand, glaring at the last line. "I'm not going to get the professor to tell you I love you, you infuriating woman."

There were drawings of little stick figures at the bottom of the postcard, which Shinichi easily recognized as the Dancing Men code from Sherlock Holmes. Within seconds, he had deciphered it as BCN and with a quick check of the Internet, found out that it was code for the Barcelona International Airport in Spain. He grabbed a sheet of paper and started writing.

_"Ai,_

_You don't give yourself enough credit. You know me better than you think. If not, we wouldn't even have a means of communicating._

_Tell me about Italy. My mom took me to Rome once when I was much, much younger. I remember being fascinated although looking back, I'm not sure if that was just childish enthusiasm. What did you like best about Italy?_

_Also, getting the professor to tell you the answer to the code would be cheating. I trust you'll figure it out._

_Always,_  
_Shinichi"_

He wrote the code again after his name, not because he needed to remind her what the code was, but because he wanted to tell her he loved her. He sealed the letter and addressed it to Barcelona.

He never noticed that he had addressed Ai by her first name in the letter.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Even though he hadn't known it at the time, Shinichi received news of Ai's whereabouts from the newspaper before she actually told him. The last postcard he had received from her was of Egyptian pyramids, so he had known she had made her way south to Africa in her travels. He was sitting in Agasa's kitchen, reading the newspaper on a Saturday morning when he came across the article.

_"Kenya Claims Angelic Saviour"_, the news proclaimed.

A bit bemused, Shinichi read the article about a village in Kenya where its mayor had claimed that a woman had come to visit them and freely provided health care for its villagers, especially the children. Accounts from the villagers claimed that she was beautiful, and the only payment she took from the patients she helped, was answers to questions she had about the wildlife. The woman left days later, leaving the villagers to believe her to be a saviour sent from heaven.

Shinichi thought the whole story was a bit absurd, because he didn't really believe in the supernatural. Still, he supposed it was a nice feel-good story in comparison to some of the other nitty-gritty stuff in the news.

However, that wasn't the last he heard of this so-called saviour. In the weeks that followed, some towns in Tanzania reported the same thing – a woman with advanced medical knowledge passing through and helping with the medical conditions of its inhabitants, children in particular. Then Uganda reported it, followed by Rwanda.

By that point, Shinichi hadn't received a postcard in almost a month.

He was out catching up with Ran and Sonoko in the middle of summer break when the latter mentioned this latest media phenomenon.

"Whether it's true or not, I like to believe it was an angel," Ran voiced with a smile. "It's so rare to hear good things in the media."

"She's certainly elusive though," Sonoko replied, narrowing her eyes at her ice-cream. "No one has been able to get a picture or give an accurate description."

"Didn't you tell me the woman had blonde hair?" Ran asked.

Shinichi's attention snapped into place then. "Wait, blonde hair?" he echoed.

"Of some sort," Sonoko filled in. "I read in one magazine that the villagers' description all seem to differ slightly. Some said blonde, some said auburn, some said a mix. It's all very wishy-washy."

Blonde and auburn?

"It wouldn't happen to be a strawberry blonde by any chance, would it?" he questioned.

Sonoko looked thoughtful. "Yea, I guess if you mix all the descriptions together, strawberry blonde's probably a good deduction," she said.

Shinichi wanted to smack himself. He was so stupid. There was a woman with advanced medical knowledge wandering around Africa, asking about wildlife animals, who only passed through quickly and never wanted to be caught on camera. And now, he found out she was a strawberry blonde. What were the chances?

When he got home that day, there was a myriad of postcards in his mailbox. It seemed like the continent of Africa had decided the last month's worth of postcards would be sent out together. He quickly flipped through them. As he thought, they were of the same places as the locations of the mysterious saviour on the news. He read the most recent postcard.

_"I never thought it would be like this. I have very little actual medical supplies or experience, but the look on these people's faces when I do something that I always considered so simple, like bandaging a cut, is one of such gratitude that I can't help but rethink everything I had believed before. Kudo-kun, I think I want to spend my life helping people like this. Could you send your next letter to Johannesburg in South Africa?"_

Shinichi was suddenly torn between being happy that she had found something she wanted to do with her life, and devastated that she might never come back. If she wanted to stay in Africa, he didn't really know what he was going to do.

"Calm down," he muttered to himself, trying not to hyperventilate. Even if she stayed there, he could go visit her, provided she wouldn't run once he showed up. Besides, it seemed like she was still moving, so it wasn't like she had already chosen a village to stay in or anything.

He wondered if she had given up on his code.

He hoped that maybe, she would change her mind about staying in Africa once she figured it out.

-o-o-o-o-o-

As it turned out, Shinichi didn't have too much to worry about. Ai did, in fact, keep moving. He received postcards from Madagascar, Seychelles, the Maldives, India, and so on. Each time he wrote back to her, he left her the coded message at the bottom of his letters, and each time, he wondered if she had given up. Or maybe she did figure it out and she didn't know how to say she didn't love him back.

In the middle of autumn, just when the weather was starting to cool, he received a postcard from Hong Kong. Unlike her other messages, which were often philosophical and sometimes teasing, this one only contained a code.

It took Shinichi all of three minutes to solve it. The code translated to NRT.

That was one airport code he didn't need to look up.

NRT was Tokyo's Narita International Airport.

Ai was flying back to Tokyo.

He was on the phone with various airlines, using his name and connections to get passenger lists for flights from Hong Kong to Tokyo within minutes of figuring out that code. He didn't know which day she was flying, so he scanned the lists for the next few days for her name. Nowhere on those lists did "Haibara Ai" come up.

Shinichi frowned. She couldn't already be here because Agasa would have called him. Perhaps she was going by another name. He scanned the lists for a "Shiho" or "Sherry", but they weren't there either. The name that finally stopped his frantic scanning was on a passenger list for a flight coming into Tokyo at mid-afternoon the next day.

_Irene Adler._

He didn't know why he was so, so sure, but that had to be it. If Shinichi was the Modern Day Sherlock Holmes, he had no doubt that Ai was his Irene Adler – the one who always figured out his plans, his only intellectual equal in a female. The only difference was, Irene Adler got away from Holmes, but Shinichi had no plans to let Ai get away again.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi wasn't sure why it hadn't occurred to him that she would have taken the antidote too, but seeing a teenaged Haibara Ai wearing a dusty rose fall jacket and wheeling a single, carry-on size suitcase out of the arrival gate completely threw him. The young woman coming out of the gate was both graceful and beautiful, and he had always known that Ai was pretty, but it still shocked him to see her as this lovely adult.

He walked up to her despite not having seen her for more than 16 months, and she recognized him just as easily as he recognized her, even though the last time they had spoken face to face, they had both been in the bodies of 7-year-olds.

"Hi," he whispered, his eyes hungrily drinking in her appearance. Her hair was lighter, sun-kissed, with more blonde streaks through it than he remembered, and it was longer now. Her eyes were a liquid green that he didn't remember them ever being. There was a sense of serenity about her, a feeling that she was at peace with herself.

"Hi," she replied softly, and Shinichi noted that her voice was both familiar and foreign all at once. She noticed the pink roses he held in his hands and raised an inquiring eyebrow at him. "Are those for me?"

It was so odd to hear her ask something like that without an underlying tone of sarcasm that he couldn't help snarking back to prod her. "No, for another strawberry blonde I was hoping to bump into after receiving a postcard saying she'd be in Tokyo."

She rolled her eyes at him. "My mistake then," she replied, shrugging. She actually had the gull to start walking away from him, taking her suitcase with her.

She had gone three steps before he started laughing and chased after her, reaching out to grab a hold of her arm. "Oh, don't be difficult. Come here." Then he wrapped her in his arms and buried his nose into her hair. He marvelled at how small she was in his arms. He remembered Conan and Ai being about the same size. Somehow, as an adult, he had grown bigger than she was.

"I missed you," he murmured.

She made a soft noise of agreement but didn't say anything. He was happy she didn't seem keen to move though, as though she liked exactly where she was as much as he enjoyed holding her. His curious mind however, wanted answers, and it had waited so very long to get them. As always, she seemed to know what he was thinking before he voiced his thoughts. She pulled slightly out of his arms and reached into her pocket, pulling out a single sheet of paper.

He exchanged the roses in his hands for the paper in hers.

The paper was worn, as though she had folded it and unfolded it many times, and it had travelled as much as she had. He gently unfolded it; it was a simple piece of notepaper with nothing remarkable about it, but scrawled in the middle was the code he kept sending her at the bottom of his letters. All around it were scribbled notes and crossed out ideas.

This was her attempt at solving his code. This was the proof that she cared what he had to say, down to every last thing that he couldn't voice out loud, even though she had been so far away.

Shinichi scanned the piece of paper, and finally found squeezed onto the left side – _"I love you...?"_

He looked up to see her watching him, eyes questioning, like she wasn't really sure that was the right answer, even though from the numerous different combinations she had tried, that was the only thing that made sense. He grinned, and did the only thing he could to answer that silent question.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. She gasped in surprise, and he took the chance to slip his tongue into her mouth. She tasted liked something sweet – strawberries, he decided – and wine. Her lips were soft under his, and she slowly responded and moved, her own tongue caressing his, making the kiss sweeter. Even though it was their first kiss, and it was happening in public, in the middle of a crowded airport, without warning on either side, Shinichi didn't feel awkward at all. Kissing Ai felt natural, instinctual, like he had always done it and would for the rest of his life.

When he finally and reluctantly pulled away, Shinichi could feel his heart beating rapidly against his chest. He let his forehead rest against hers, his hands gently caressing her cheeks.

"Did you find what you were looking for out there?" he whispered softly.

She smiled and let her breath mix with his. The emotions he could see in her eyes were so much more than what she could have conveyed with words. So she said the only thing that had mattered to him in these long 16 months.

"I'm home."

He understood everything she wanted to say in those two words. She knew now: she belonged in Beika; she belonged with him.

He smiled at her. "Welcome home, Ai."

-o-o-o-o-o-

End of story.  
Word count: 16,350

**Closing Notes:** The challenge my brain wanted me to do with this fic was to write a romance where one of the two characters isn't really in the fic. In here, Shinichi and Ai (Shiho) only share one scene, and I think she has 4 spoken lines totalling less than 10 words. Not sure if this worked in the end though.

**Tidbits:** My favourite scene to write was the Shinichi & Hattori scene. The first scene written was the platypus postcard scene.

And before anyone corrects me, I do know that logistically and financially, Ai's travels and messages in here are probably not possible, but I hope you agree that the fic would lose its romanticism if we talked about lost mail and how much flights really cost. Hopefully, you've enjoyed it nonetheless. :)


End file.
